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Though where they take place is often indicative of how people expect others to digest the news of these rendezvous. We can now admit that "bro jobs" are happening, and happening often. The recent wave of interest in this not-so-recent phenomenon says something about the our current sexual climate. Of course, condensing the scope of sexual desire isn’t something that can be done in a thousand words or so. And then there’s the simple fact that males manifest their sexual excitement in much more obvious ways than women, and that’s something a lot of guys find arousing, even relieving. There are other reasons self-identified straight men might have sex with each other. Block explained that some men are looking for the BDSM element, which can involve humiliation by means of another penis, a larger penis. There’s the curiosity bit, the desire to be with someone ‘who looks like me.’ There's also mutual masturbation. “To me, no man has the soft indescribable beauty of a woman. And no woman can ‘take me’ the way a man can.” But it is clear that I take on different roles with different genders.”
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Not totally in either direction, it's not that simple. LaBlanc explains, “I tend strongly towards being dominant with women and submissive with men. And some will step outside the bounds of gender to achieve it. That way I get the balance too.” LaMorgese refers to herself as an “alpha submissive.” It's an experience that many men crave as well.
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Professional dominatrix Sandra LaMorgese once told AlterNet, “I’m dominant in every aspect of life but I'm not going to have a submissive partner. If you’re looking to have sex for sport, doing it with another man might make some sense. Removing sex from its prescribed context is often discouraged in heterosexual relationships. But Block suggests that for men looking for free, no-strings-attached sex, a male partner may be their best bet. That’s not to say that men don’t crave intimacy – they do, in its place.
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“Women are full of meaning,” says Block “One of the things that men like about other men is how meaningless it is. But this notion of meaninglessness may help explain what makes sex between men appealing. “Meaningless.” A hard word to sneak by a therapist. Ward writes, “By understanding their same-sex sexual practice as meaningless, accidental, or even necessary, straight white men can perform homosexual contact in heterosexual ways.” In her book, Ward insists that sex acts between men are not symptoms of a suppressed gay identity, but rather an example of the fluid nature of human sexuality. “I think to a great degree when people think about their own sexual orientation, they’re thinking about their hopes and dreams for themselves in terms of love and romance. “I am often forced to call myself ‘bi,’ but I rarely find labels appropriate,” says model Paul LaBlanc (a pseudonym).Īs Block explains, sexual orientation goes a lot further than the sexual activities we engage in. We’re quick to assign the “bisexual” label to those for which sexual arousal is not dictated by gender. And while arousal makes up just one piece of the very complex puzzle that is sexual orientation, it is a major player. Of course, identity politics is a messy game. “Sometimes you hide it because you don’t want to suffer from society’s punishments.” Now, we’re starting to ease up on that natural fluidity of men. “We’ve shut down on the phenomenon of male sexuality. In all different cultures.”īlock explained to AlterNet that sexual activity between self-identifying straight males is one of the most common topics introduced during her therapy sessions with men. “I hear about it going on in Saudi Arabia, in Latin America – I talk to guys from all over the world who are doing this. Jane Ward in her book Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men, who suggests it's a lot more common than most people may think. The phenomenon was recently explored by Dr. The term “bro job” generally refers to sex acts taking place between heterosexual men.
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But when it comes to two self-identified straight guys getting together, we tend to stiffen up, and not in the fun way.
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This article originally appeared on AlterNetĪt this point, lesbian sex (the porny kind) is practically considered vanilla.